Why Men Pull Away – Top 3 Secrets They Won’t Tell You

Dianne, a friend since high school, was distraught. She bugs me:  why men pull away, even when they say they love her?

 [Learn Why Men Pull Away CLICK HERE ] 

And why men pull away from the relationship after intimacy?

why men pull away- why are they not talking

Why can’t they just talk? Or, simply hold hands?

I gave her a quick, short  answer.

“I got to this site wherein a ‘bad boy’ by the name of  TDubb explained in video how a woman can capture or recapture the man of his dreams, how to keep him committed, and even marry her without resorting to gimmicks or threats.”

So, my short answer to her why men pull away when in love,  was to check out   TDubb’s Girl Gets Ring Video presentation, CLICK HERE  and find out how.

Dianne’s Background

Dianne had two previous relationships which didn’t work out well. Her first was with Bobby. They had one year of passionate relationship. She described it as hot, and cold,  ”tumultuous”,was another descriptor she said.

When Bobby pulled away , Michael came. This time, she learned enough from her previous relationship.  But it didn’t last. They lasted three years, though.

Now, she’s with  Harry, for two years now. But, it appears they are heading in the same direction.

She can’t understand why Harry says he loves her, yet won’t commit to her, or propose to marry her despite the “all” that she has given to him.

Now, at 32, and her biological clock ticking away, she’s frustrated. She even began to have doubts about her self worth. And she’s desperately groping for answers … how she can keep her man.

Video – When men pull away or lose interest …

Six months later, she sent me this video. She appears very happy and fulfilled.

She finally met the man who’d die to be by her side. How did she do it?

Let her do the talking. So short, and sweet!

What was the “top secret” she found out?

My long answer why men pull away …

I started with a contentious bombshell.

In about 80% of the time, how a man loves you has nothing to do with with his willinness to commit to you, or marry you.

Did I hear howls of protests?

Many will agree or disagree with this statement.

Most men will agree, most women won’t.

See, the gender factor alone, tells a lot about how men and women think differently.

Over a cup of Starbucks, I explained to her three secrets men keep close to their hearts.  The funny thing is, most of them are not even aware of this.

Secret #1 – Men process their feelings in their guts, women, in their hearts.

Understanding this is crucial.

A simple solution is to always is to always keep the communication lines open.

Dianne protested.

“But what if he is the one who shuts the line off?”

I answered her with a question.

“Do you think that if he reacts that way, you can keep on keeping up with him?”

Then, I followed it up with this thought.

Men, typically won’t speak up unless they think of you as a confidante who can keep secrets, and not someone who will use the same knowledge to hurt them.

So, another thing to ponder is: how do you become a confidante to him? And in the process, how does he become a confidante to you?

Men have a mission in Life …

This is a very important concept. If there’s only one thins that you must remember, this is it.

Secret #2 – Men have this “mission in life” to fulfill”.

Most men are not conscious about this, but deep in their guts … they want to prove something to themselves. TDubb calls this the “hero avatar”.

This is probably, the primary reason why men won’t move up to next level of commitment.

Even if he’s had “everything” with you, if his gut tells him that you will make his load heavier on his journey to complete his “mission”, he will dilly-dally, or keep on vacillating.

So unless that he sees you and feels deep inside him, that you are THE ONE  who would lighten up his load and help him reach his “mission” in life … chances are that  he’d still pull away.

The Real Him

Secret #3 – Men are really soft inside, and they too, want to be loved for the “real him”, warts and all.

This is tricky.

At the start of any relationship, when men start to strut around you – they will usually put their best “mask” forward.

Men may buy you expensive gifts, and invite you to expensive dinners.  Men will want to impress you to get your attention.

But, if you already have given him your attention, and reciprocated your interest in him, he will then start to think about showing or revealing the real him for you.

The problem is, he may not yet be comfortable about this.

If he feels safe and trusts you enough, he will. If not, he will continue to wear his mask.

This question bugs him: What if you reject him?

So, if you keep on expecting that you go to fancy restaurants, be given fancy gifts, and fancy everything … he may start to think that you fancy him only because of the fancy things he can give.

This is a “yellow” light that may lead to a “red” light.

What to do?

When you eat out, offer to pay the bill. He will refuse this 95% of the time.

But, if you insist, and even “intercept” the bill … you send him a different signal that it’s not the “fancy” things that you like in him.

An easier thing to do is encourage him to take you to the less expensive restaurants in the likes of McDonald’s, Taco Bell, or Carl’s Jr. Or, suggest gifts that are meaningful yet not expensive.

Or time alone, when you can be intimate without necessary being physical.

It is  important that you  make him feel that it is “him”, that you really fancy. And not the fancy things that he gives you, which seldom lasts anyway.

This way, you are telling him that you like the “real him”.

Secret #4 – How not to make your man pull away …

Finally, I told her that there is a fourth one.

“A fourth one?”

Yes I said. Not only 4, but more!

You see, men, are like women. They are a complex creature.

“If you are really interested”, I said, “to understand men, and get the man you’d like to live with, and be married with in bliss till death do you apart”, I continued, “then, do your future family a favor.”

“What is it?”, she looked at me in anticipation.

Go to this free presentation by TDubb, and get his “Girl Gets Ring” system, Click Here.

If for whatever reason, you think that it is not helpful … you can easily return it, “ala-Amazon”.

Summary- Top 3 Secrets Why Men Pull Away

1.  Men want to be able to open up their deepest and most sacred thoughts to their girls “chaff and grain” together without getting “busted”.

2. Men have a “mission in life”. It’s up to you to make him feel that you can make his journey lighter. Or, heavier.

3. Men want to be loved and appreciated for the real him, and not the “mask” or front, that they wear.

When  Men Pull Away – Action You Can Take Now

Go to this free video training  training   and learn how capture your dream man, and make him feel glad, proud, and loved, you did. This  video could be taken down without notice.

Learn Why Men Pull Away
CLICK HERE 

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Why Men Cheat – 5 Top Causes

Infidelity is a major cause of breakups. The question why men cheat has been asked a million times by a million women, and answers and solutions have been prof erred.

[Beat Them Men Cheaters Up! Learn How - CLICK HERE]

Yet the phenomenon persists. Men still cheat. And, women do, too!

Nea Joy presents her analysis why men cheat, and presents her solutions how to keep them from turning left.

5 Reasons Why Men Cheat and How to Keep Your Man Faithful

Author: Nea Joy

In marriages and committed relationships, most of us expect the obvious: commitment. Unfortunately, even after vowing to forsake all others, many people cheat. Countless studies and real life experiences tell us that men are more likely to cheat than women. That’s no big secret! However, the reasons why men cheat remain a mystery to most of us.

Well, there’s some good news: There are some things you can do to help keep your man from cheating on you. The key is to understand the answer to the question, “Why do men cheat?”

Before you read this list of reasons why men cheat, let’s make one thing clear. If your man cheats on you, it is not your fault. It is ultimately his responsibility to keep “it” in his pants. These tips on how to keep your man from cheating on you can simply help you to help him do what he should do anyway.

With that disclaimer out of the way, lets move on to look at some of the reasons why men cheat.

Reasons Why Men Cheat

1. Immaturity

For the immature man, cheating is often the result of a lack of self control and a sense of entitlement. He may feel that he deserves multiple women, thus he doesn’t even try to be a loyal husband or boyfriend.

Such a man may cheat on his wife or girlfriend no matter what she says or does. He is too immature and irresponsible to understand (or even care) about the damaging effects of his infidelity. He’s also not man enough to admit his unwillingness to commit, thus you’ll have to catch him red-handed. The only tip for a woman who’s dating Mr. Immature is to “kick him to the curve.” This guy is an STD-risk and a threat to your emotional well-being. Don’t waste your time.

2. Feelings of Inadequacy

Another of the reasons men cheat because they feel insecure or somehow inadequate. Although they may not tell you that they need to hear words of validation, many men secretly yearn for it. A guy who is usually faithful may be tempted to cheat on you if he’s feeling inadequate. A bit of flattering attention from another woman may stroke his ego in a way that he finds simply irresistible. Don’t leave this hole in your relationship.

If your man seems macho, confident, or even cocky, it’s still a good idea to let him know what you love about him. Don’t wait on another woman to come along and tell him the all the things he’s dying to hear. If you like the way he looks or smells, tell him. If he’s a good provider and protector, tell him.

For some men, the feelings of inadequacy are so out of control that no amount of ego stroking will keep him from cheating on you. This type of man uses multiple women to distract him from his extreme insecurities. It’s important for you to remember that you can only do so much. If you do your best to show him that you admire and appreciate him, the rest is up to him.

3. The Challenge

Many men love a challenge-a bit of a chase. When a woman seems unattainable, she is interesting. When she is not giving in to him, making him work for her affections, she captivates him. Men who love a challenge will get bored quickly with an easy, spineless woman.

If you’re a “Yes girl” once you’re in a committed relationship, this may be a recipe for infidelity. By not giving in to his every whim, you can keep a man interested and prevent him from cheating. Make sure he knows that, although you love him, you will not be walked on. Let him know that he will always have to be diligent in order to keep you. A strong, confident woman is very interesting and attractive to most men. Be that woman so he doesn’t cheat on you in order to find her.

4. Sexual Frustration

Most women assume that the reason men cheat is just for the sex. That’s usually not the whole story, but sexual frustration can be a factor. As time passes in relationships, the quantity (or quality) of sex may change. He wants sex-you have a headache. He wants sex-you’re too tired. He wants sex-you unenthusiastically give in. He wants oral sex-you’re not into that.

Men naturally think about sex more than most women and suppressing their desires is extremely difficult. Blame the testosterone for that. If you don’t want your husband or boyfriend to feed his sexual urges with other women, reduce the chances of this happening by keeping him satisfied. Have your hormones checked if your libido is extremely low. Don’t just dismiss the notion that a healthy sex life is important to prevent infidelity.

When it comes to sex in relationships, it’s not all about how often you do it. Even if you have sex everyday, sexual frustration can arise when you and your man aren’t interested in the same types of sexual acts.

It’s best to find out early on what a man likes sexually; therefore, you can pass on the relationship opportunity if you are not sexually compatible. If you’re sexually conservative, don’t bother getting involved with a man who loves anal sex, role play, BDSM, or other non-traditional forms of pleasure. Choose a man whose needs you are willing to satisfy-and do it. If you wait until post-commitment to tell him that you’re not open to his favorite sexual acts, he’ll become so sexually frustrated that it will be hard to keep him from cheating on you.

5. Escape from Reality

Passion, fire, and excitement abound in new relationships. Unfortunately, a lot of this dwindles away after getting married, having kids, or remaining in a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, one of the reasons men cheat is that those magical sparks stop flying. This is especially common when couples begin to have kids. Instead of long vacations, nights on the town, and frequent sex, life becomes all about dirty diapers, temper tantrums and extra stress. This is a bad time to add the trauma of infidelity to the problems in a relationship, but some men seek to escape the reality of their changing lives.

To keep your man faithful as life changes so drastically, keep the communication channels open. Discuss the changes that you’re facing and how you both plan to deal with them. Furthermore, do not let life become completely about work, kids, and household chores. Your marriage or relationship should also be a top priority and it is important that you make it so. Schedule date nights, talk openly and continually relight the flame between you two. No matter how you choose to do it, remember to show the man you love that your life with him is an equally important part of your reality.

In addition to cheating, there are many reasons that relationships fail. You can’t possibly get all the answers from one article. I hope you’ll check out RelationshipSaga.com for more information on how to fix your relationship problems before it’s too late.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/5-reasons-why-men-cheat-and-how-to-keep-your-man-faithful-3611768.html

About the Author

Nea Joy is the founder of Law of Attraction based self-help blog, Self Improvement Saga, and the relationship advice website, Relationship Saga.  She specializes in teaching the art of joyful living through personal growth, healthy relationships, and deliberate use of the Universal Law of Attraction. Enhance your life today by visiting http://self-improvement-saga.com for free articles, tips, newsletters, and much more.

Ms. Joy cites being a strong women as a factor that keeps him in “check”. She also dismisses immature and irresponsible men.  When it comes sex, she insists on compatibility and respect. When it comes to “spark”, she insists on excitement and communication as a cementing factor.

Her views on sex may not suit well people who live in societies which are as not open as the western culture. Whatever someone’s views are — sex happens. Just look at the internet.

To cite just one factor on how to keep your man faithful and prevent him from cheating — it is in the women’s strength, and how she shows it, and asserts it.

So cheating men, beware of the strong woman! (She’ll beat you up! :) )

Why Men Cheat- Here’s  What You Can Do and Be NOT a Victim

You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man not to even think about cheating, and  commit to you willingly, gladly, and even marry you!

Beat Them Men Cheaters Up! Learn How
CLICK HERE

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Guy Pulls Away – Why oh why!
Why Men Pull Away, Top 3 Secrets
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Why Men Cheat – 5 Top Causes

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Guy Pulls Away – Why oh why!

When a guy pulls away, would you know why?

Probably not. You may have speculations, but unless you talk to him and he becomes truthful, I doubt.

[ When Guys Pull Away, Follow This Formula - CLICK HERE ] 

So, the best cure is always prevention.

Kathy on this article reveals 3 things that she thinks she did that made his guy pull away the last time.

Why a Guy Pulls Away – 3 Things You Must Do to Keep Him From Pulling Away - by Kathy

So you found the guy of your dreams and you’ve been in a relationship with him for quite awhile. You know he loves you and you’re ready to get married. He hasn’t popped the question yet and you feel as if he never will.

Using threats out of desperation is like committing relationship suicide. Women that continue to use threats must believe there’s a good reason, (especially if they’ve been in a long relationship) but then they wonder why a guy pulls away.

They want marriage so badly, that making threats is a common issue. Women who force demands on their guy don’t realize the pressure they are putting him under, so therefore he terminates the relationship. By giving your guy a now-or-never ultimatum will cause him to pack his bags and run. There are 3 things you must do to keep him from pulling away.

1-Don’t be over-bearing- Men think they are the stronger of the sex. They don’t want to be told what to do. They express their feeling in a different way than women. They want to make their own decisions in their own time without someone pushing them. Be patient and caring. If they sense you are trying to push them and are over-bearing, they will hold back their true feelings.

They love their gal, but they can only take so much before they pull out. You need to understand his feelings and concerns which will bring him closer to you. By giving him some slack will make him more comfortable with you. Deep down inside, he wants you for his wife, but he is testing the waters because he knows a commitment is for life.

2-Show him the real you- Some women think by pretending to be what they’re not, will impress a guy. It’s quite the opposite. Men love a woman who is real and natural and doesn’t pretend or lie. If he catches you in a lie, he will never trust you. Love and marriage are based on trust. So be yourself and be totally honest with him. He will love you for it.

Women in a relationship get caught with their pretenses and their guy can sense that. If that happens, he will pull away. Remember, he is looking for marriage material, but he isn’t going to tell you that.

Although he is watching your actions and desires, he isn’t aware of it. He puts up his guard and it’s up to you to tear it down. Stay sharp and focused on his actions and don’t give him a reason to doubt your love or trust.

3-Your First Impression- Your first impression is on your first date and that’s when the seed starts to grow. Guys love to impress a new girlfriend making them think he is financially successful. He wants her to like him and he knows money is the way to steal her heart. The problem is that after awhile he gets caught up in his own game.

Women let their guy buy them expensive gifts, go to fancy restaurants and will accept what their boyfriend offers. Now he feels trapped and is to proud to tell her he can’t keep spending all this money. When he feels trapped, he will walk away. Most women don’t realize what they’re doing, so they wonder why their guy pulled away.

If he starts buying you expensive gifts, don’t accept them. After a couple times of taking you to a fancy restaurant, you pick a cheap restaurant. If you truly love him, you won’t care where he takes you. Offer to fix dinner at your house or apartment (or his). That way he can see how good of a cook you are as a future wife. He may very well have lots of money, but act as though he doesn’t. If he thinks you want him for his money and not for him, he will know it and leave the relationship.

You must follow these 3 tips to keep him from pulling away. Be patient and let his love grow for you. If you do, he will eventually ask you to marry him. Don’t be like so many women that wonder why a guy pulls away . You have a wonderful life ahead of you with the guy of your dreams. Just follow your heart and heed the advice in this article.

About the Author

I was in a relationship where my guy eventually pulled away. I was over-bearing, making threats and giving him ultimatums and then he pulled away. I was really hurt. I realized after I lost him what I had done.

Then I found this guy who has been a relationship specialist for 16 years. He has a training video and tons of advice that got me on the right track. So when I finally met the guy of my dreams, I followed the advice from T’Dub’s video and training. My my guy did commit and we are now happily married.

Go to: www.KeepaGuy.info and watch T’Dub’s video and see how to get your guy to pop the question without using threats or ultimatums.

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When A Guy Pulls Away – here’s what you can do to prevent it

Kathy followed the teachings of this guy on the video behind the “click”. Find out to how to keep your from guy pulling away.

Learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man commit to you willingly, gladly, even marry you!

When Guys Pull Away, Follow This Formula – CLICK HERE

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Why Men Pull Away, Top 3 Secrets

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What Do Men Want In Relationships

Do men want in relationships, always sex?

[Find Out What Men Want In Relationships CLICK HERE]

As a man myself,  my answer is Yes…

BUT … Not only that. :)

Here’s a very enlightening article that gives women great clues that men not only want sex in relationships, but a lot,lot more.

What Do Men Want in Relationships?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=A_Aaron]A Aaron

Have you ever wondered why men seem to want you one day, then wants more “space” the next? Ever wondered why most men find it hard to commit? These and many other questions plaque the minds of many women today – just what do men want in relationships?

The surprising thing is that what men want in relationships are pretty much the same things that women want. Here are some of the things men want, and why:

#1 – Men want freedom.

When a man first enters the dating game, he’s in it for the fun. He’s out to meet new women and make new friends, and finding someone to marry is probably the last thing on his mind. He’s enjoying his life to the hilt, and still loves many aspects of his single life — his hobbies, his friends, his career.

A stigma of relationships today is the idea that once you get into a relationship, you lose your freedom to do the things you used to enjoy. This is precisely why many men are uncomfortable being in a relationship and living under its “rules.” But what most people don’t realize is that it’s still possible to enjoy your freedom while sharing it with someone you love.

So the best tip you can remember to ensure his freedom is this: Don’t be too clingy. As the popular song goes, “Everybody needs a little time away from each other.” Let him enjoy his time, and do the same every now and then.

#2 – Men want enjoyment.

The reason why most men space out of their relationships is because they simply don’t find it fun anymore. This could either be because their girlfriends try to ask for too much attention, or talk about too many problems, or simply aren’t any fun to be with. Do you like the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone so negative? Exactly.

To make the relationship a happier place for him (and you), learn to be in total control of your emotions, instead of being a slave to them. This doesn’t mean you’ll need to filter out all the negative emotions, but instead of letting them rule you, acknowledge them and move on. And always try to bring positive, enjoyable things to the table in the relationship.

#3 – Men want independent women.

Let’s face it — too many women today think of themselves too much. They depend on their friends, their money, and their boyfriends to stay happy. But you’ll be surprised at how being able to stand on your own two feet is a very irresistible quality to have. Men love being with independent women, simply because independent women are a rarity these days.

It may sound hard, but it’s always possible to tweak your personality to be more free, more enjoyable, and more independent. It’s all a man wants in a relationship!

Find out the [http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com/the-ten-most-dangerous-mistakes-you-probably-make-with-men-and-what-to-do-about-it]ten most dangerous mistakes you probably make with men – and what you can do about it.

Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Do-Men-Want-in-Relationships?&id=2563130] What Do Men Want in Relationships?

Of the 3 things Aaron cited, I cite independent women as the most attractive. Men face it. We want a strong woman. A woman who can carry the cudgels when we cannot.

If you are reading this and only need to remember one thing, this is it:  strength.

That’s one trait men want in relationships. (Other than sex? :) )

What men want in relationships – here’s what you can do.

You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that generally teaches what your man want in your relationship.

Find Out What Men Want In Relationships
CLICK HERE

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When Men Withdraw – So Be It?

Is it just right when men withdraw, and we let them be?

[When Men Withdraw, Know Why CLICK HERE]

It is  a common occurrence in relationships that a man (or a woman) suddenly withdraws, asking for “space”, and you’re left in a shell not understanding what is happening.

In this article, Katherine shares what she does and will do, if her man suddenly pulls away.

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What To Do When Men Withdraw and Suddenly ‘Need Their Space’
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Breanne_Katherine]Breanne Katherine

Has your man suddenly gotten distant and your not sure why or what may have triggered his frustrations?

Has he stopped talking to you quite as often or does it seem as though he lacks interest during the time he has to spend with you?

The reasoning behind why a man might withdraw from a relationship is varied and subject to several cause and effect scenarios.

However, the majority of the time – most men withdraw from relationships either because they are no longer interested, do not feel appreciated, have lost their own self-respect, or a mixture of all the above.

In order to gauge where your man is at and why he is suddenly withdrawing from the relationship, you’ll need to do a little research. Try to understand what is going on in his mind by having a conversation with him and reading his body language.

Do not assume that your relationship is or was solid. Open communication needs to be a must for any relationship to achieve long-term success. Without it, pent-up emotions and feelings will one day release a negative explosion, which isn’t always healthy for either of you.

Be sure that from the very beginning of the relationship, you are both open and honest with each other. Express your feelings, emotions, worries, concerns, fears, ideas, and desires on a consistent basis.

Also make sure that you consider his in return. If you make an attempt to put his priorities in front of your own, you will see a drastic change in his desire to do the same; thus, inevitably getting what you want and deserve from the relationship.

By exuding empathy and support with what he fears and worries over, you will create a trusting bond that allows him to confide in you. By sharing in your understanding together, the two of you will create a long and lasting relationship.

The two of you are a team – by choosing to be in a relationship together, you have ultimately decided that you will share, support, and burden each others wants, fears, and desires as a unit.

You may not agree with some of the choices he makes and vice versa, but as long as they are reasonable and remain faithful, there should be nothing the two of you can’t work through together.

Patience is another major factor in achieving the kind of relationship you have always dreamed about.

No relationship is perfect, they all take practice and consistency.

However with a little time, the two of you will eventually learn how to handle and accomplish hundreds of incredible feats you wouldn’t have had the opportunity of experiencing if either of you were single.

If your man claims that he needs his space, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It could potentially mean just that – that he needs a little space to recuperate and feel like himself before he decides what to do with his love life.

It doesn’t have to mean that he is dumping you and moving right on to the next girl he finds. He is probably simply seeking some alone time to gather his thoughts and figure out what he truly wants.

The best way to handle this kind of situation is to respect it. If you fight and beg for him to change his mind it will only make him resent you, and probably have him leaving for good – don’t do this!

Instead, tell him that you disagree with his choice (if you do) but you are willing to wait for him if he chooses to change his mind. Assure him that you are always available to talk and remind him quickly how much you will always care for him, either way he goes.

Give him something to really ponder over – don’t let his last impression of you to make his choice with, be one of the two of you screaming and arguing with each other.

Make it a memory that he will want to come back to, one that will make him feel ridiculous for ever having to ‘need his space’ to begin with.

How?

Pay Very Close Attention Here -

On The Next Page, You Will Discover Very Rare & Psychological Tricks Which Will Give You The Ultimate Power To Attract any Man, Make Him Fall In Love, & Get Him To Commit To You & Only You, Forever – Click Here! [http://theguymagnet.us]

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-To-Do-When-Men-Withdraw-and-Suddenly-Need-Their-Space&id=6432903] What To Do When Men Withdraw and Suddenly ‘Need Their Space’

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She says that  when men withdraws, it usually is a loss in interest, either in the relationship, or in his ability to sustain a relationship. That communication is a must.

And most importantly,  leave him a loving impression that he is losing a big thing if he does not realize the love and value that you hold for him.

When men withdraw – here’s what you can do.

Become a better person.  You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man commit to you willingly, gladly, even marry you!

When Men Withdraw, Know Why
CLICK HERE

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Know the signs when men pull away

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When Men Pull Away, Be Wiser

Know the signs when men pull away

Sometimes, we are not sure when men pull away from us. It’s hard to read minds.

[ When Men Pull Away - Be Wiser, Click Here ] 

However, there are resources we can cite to confirm, or debunk if our man is pulling away from us.

Here is such an article.

When Men Pull Away – Top Three Signs That He Is Pulling Away
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Alyssa_A._H]Alyssa A. H

You are probably reading this article because you get that sneaky feeling that your boyfriend is pulling away from you or being distant.

You are not one hundred per cent sure because let’s face it, you may be over reacting but one thing you do know is that something has changed and you need to get to the bottom of it.

If there is one thing I have learnt is that when you think that something is off, very often you are right!

So let’s go through the top three signs that will clue you in on whether or not your boyfriend is pulling away from you.

1. He spends a lot less time with you now than he did before and he tells you that he is busy as his excuse as to why you two are spending little time together.

So in other words, if you two were seeing each other four or five times a week, you are barely seeing him once or twice now.

When you do see him, the conversation is not as free flowing and it seems as though his mind is elsewhere. His body is there but his mind clearly is not.

In addition, it doesn’t seem like it is even that big of a deal that you two aren’t seeing each other as often. He just does not seem to care.

What the heck? Doesn’t he miss you at all? This is definitely a sign to monitor.

2. He doesn’t call you as often as he used to and again it doesn’t seem like he even misses hearing your voice.

When you call him, he is always too busy to have a real meaningful conversation with you and you always feel as though he is leaving you hanging.

If anything, this is one of the most important signs to take note of.

Does it seem as though you have unfinished business with him, like if a door is always being closed in your face without you being able to express yourself or spend time being with him or talking with him?

3. He doesn’t make plans in advance like he did before.

When you two first started seeing each other, he made plans way in advance. This, as you know, is one of the signs that a guy is interested in you and wants to impress you with all of the fancy places he can take you. He wants to make sure that you two do exciting things together.

So when he starts to get downright lazy and nonchalant about what you two are doing and when, that is a clear sign that he is taking a big step back from the relationship and his commitment to you!

These are three of the main signs that your boyfriend is pulling back from you. Even one of these in isolation signals that there may be a problem in your relationship that needs a speedy solution of some type. For more signs that your guy may be pulling away from you, click on the link below to visit my blog!

Find out why a guy will pull away from the woman he loves if he is not ready to get married here at http://www.committedrelationship.blogspot.com Why is your man pulling away from you?

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?When-Men-Pull-Away---Top-Three-Signs-That-He-Is-Pulling-Away&id=7091216] When Men Pull Away – Top Three Signs That He Is Pulling Away

In summary,  Alyssa is telling us that if he spends less time, calls less, and plans less than before, he may be starting to pull away .

Heck, why don’t you confront him and hear it from?

When Men Pull Away – What You Can Do

Learn the ways of the man. Man is a complex being.  I suggest you hear this free training video on how you make your man commit to you gladly, willingly, even marry you!

When Men Pull Away – Be Wiser, Click Here

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The secret to a lasting marriage

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

Divorce is an all too common thing.

There is even a belief among some that if marriage becomes too much work or is too difficult or if you are not happy enough, get a divorce.

My opinion of this idea: why take the easy way out?

Marriage is work. Marriage is struggle. But then again, any close relationship is. And for that matter, so is anything of value in life.

There are times I have been asked,

“What makes a marriage last?”

“What’s the secret to a lasting marriage?”

The answer is actually simple (simple is not to be confused with easy).

Before I divulge the answer, let’s tackle a few marriage myths.

Thanks to popular press and Hollywood, the work involved in marriage is poorly displayed.

Many people seem to think that marriage will be a lifelong romantic escapade along the shore at sunset before returning home for the nightly passionate adventure enveloped in silk sheets with your lover. I know you’ve bought into this idea somewhat if you can easily complete this phrase: “and they all lived…”

The honeymoon is over, morning breath has set in, your partner sees you for who you are, plus you see your partner more for who they are. You realize that marriage requires more of you.

The dream of marriage has been replaced with the reality of marriage. You and your spouse don’t see eye to eye on everything. You’ve slept on the couch at least once in your married life. There has been a roller coaster of feelings. Close. Distant. Passion. Boredom. Joy. Sadness.

When you get right down to it, marriage is not about happiness. Marriage is about two people growing up and becoming better humans.

Nowhere else are we faced with the task of growth more than marriage.

So what’s the secret to making marriage last?

Two people who choose to stay married. That’s it.

Marriage is choice. Choice of partner, choice of self, choice of growth, even choice of passion and adventure.

While this may at first appear simplistic, it should be.

When you view what’s going on in your marriage as a process for growth and experiencing more in life, it makes the choice simple.

Most of the time, we focus on our partner and our desire for them to change or do something different. This is focusing on something we can’t control. If we decide to grow, do something different, change the things we don’t like about ourselves, we take charge of our own life as well as our relationship.

With everything that happens to us in life and love, how you view it will determine the outcome. When you have times of disagreement, could it really be a time to grow closer? Or a time to understand more about your spouse? When you feel your partner pulling away, maybe it’s an opportunity to engage your partner in a better way.

(photo source)

The secret to a lasting marriage is written by Corey from: Simple Marriage

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A FEW THINGS WE LOVE:

Source:The secret to a lasting marriage

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Five Date Nights = One Fight Night

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

I’m a big believer that your overall approach to your relationship needs to be as positive as it can be.

Have a quick watch of John Gottman…

So what does that mean in terms of practical application?

Well, sometimes the best thing you can do is just knock off the pointless fighting for no reason. Stop the snarky one-liners. Stop the eye-rolling. Stop the passive-aggressive ignoring. Stop the nagging. Stop the whining. Stop slamming the doors. Stop assuming disrespect. Stop trying to find a negative motivation behind what they are doing.

I’ve seen so many misapplied attempts to be Alpha just coming across as a contemptuous asshole, that I’ve started wondering if some guys are actively trying to tailspin the relationship into the ground. Should you stand up for positive boundaries and not be taken advantage of? Sure you should, but that’s not being an asshole, that’s being a functional adult.

In all seriousness, I see the greatest and fastest gains in relationships, when people just stop doing the things that are negative. You don’t even have to do anything new, just stop the endless Displays of Low Value and Negative Energy.

Or put another way, if the five-to-one ratio of positive-to-negative is correct, maybe you have to start thinking of it more like five date nights being equal to one fight night.

If you had to try and change your relationship to fall into line with a five-to-one ration of positive-to-negative, what would you have to change?

Source:Five Date Nights = One Fight Night

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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All Else Being Equal, Assume Love.

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

I’ve seen something really interesting with the couples I’ve been coaching.

I tend to lean heavily toward getting as much information as possible before we get to the call stage of things, and I usually have a pretty good idea of which way things are going to go. But there is always something about seeing people in person and hearing their vocal tones. There’s always a ream of information in the way a couple sit next to each other, who turns to look at the other when they speak, who speaks first, who rolls their eyes and sighs. When I ask a particularly pointed question… who locks eyes with mine and gives that tiny little up and down nod with a quarter-smile that someone finally gets it.

There are also all the questions about their history. How did you guys meet? Tell me the story of you two.

And they tell me.

At some point though, I usually have to drop the bombshell… and just to be clear, I don’t do it unless I genuinely believe it to be true.

“You guys love each other a lot. I can see it.”

Usually that’s closely followed with something like…

“There’s a lot we can work on here, but it’s not like I’m seeing any great deal-breaking issues. This is all fixable.”

Their looks of utter relief are so palpable. It’s as if I said something like “The biopsy is back and there’s no cancer.”

Now I realize I’m the great and mighty Athol, who is the expert of all things marriage, and there’s probably some kind of placebo effect here. But the effect is so much greater than what I bring to the table. I mean I’ve sat through hour long tales of everything a couple has done up until now. There’s risk, pain, sacrifice, triumph, joys and failures on their journey of togetherness… but they still aren’t sure there’s love there sometimes.

It’s like their greatest struggle is against the fear that divorce is their destiny. I’m totally blown away at how powerful it is to a couple to simply hear that someone else thinks they love each other.

Now to be sure no one gets married for perfectly benign reasons of saintly love for their partner, but invariably people do indeed marry from a desire to love and be loved. Misunderstandings and tiredness imputed with an assumption of a lack of love, will quickly spiral the relationship into a dark place. It can be incredibly destructive to a relationship to have the wife’s girlfriends endlessly explaining what’s wrong with men and how secretly abusive all of them are. It can be incredibly destructive to a relationship to have the husband’s manly mentors endlessly explaining what’s wrong with women and how secretly abusive all of them are. It can be incredibly destructive to a relationship to have the culture endlessly repeating a badly written sitcom assumption that love, sex and happiness ends at the altar.

So all else being equal, assume love.

And try it out yourselves. If you know a couple who are being good to each other, tell them so. It has a way of changing things for the better.

 

Source:All Else Being Equal, Assume Love.

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Outgrowing Our Sexual Adolescence

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

gaymenfieldresized “Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times; few are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.”  -Sydney Harris

 

We come into our erotic consciousness in our early adolescence. The process is mostly subconscious as the maturing brain establishes unique patterns of pleasurable stimuli, often in response to painful events or relationships that it is working to resolve. Like our fingerprints, or the subtle distinctions in our sense of smell, our arousal mechanism evolves outside of our control and often, to our surprise. It is no wonder that the first and often long-standing issue most of us begin our sexual journey with is – am I normal? As we come to know what turns us on, even in its most subtle forms, our sexuality pushes our boundaries of normalcy. Our sexual selves are the unique, wild streak in us that won’t be easily contained and whose full pleasure potential is achieved the less we try to control it. Since the Biblical verses in the Garden of Eden, human sexuality has been considered dangerous, serpent-like.

Instead of healthy dialogue and reliable information about what it means to become and embrace who we are sexually our overwhelming curiosity and confusion about our emerging sexuality is often met with archaic religious teachings, generational discomfort of our elders, misinformation from our peers and a bi-polar cultural obsession. The majority of us never have the opportunity to adequately explore the questions that arise from our earliest adolescent erotic awakening. Maturing beyond our initial discomfort requires education, and real sexual education is hard to come by. In many places it is still against the law.

Evidence of our adolescent approach- avoidant sexual consciousness is visible in the typical range of reactions to any discussion concerning sexuality; for some the very mention of sexual education is an outrage, an insult to moral decency. For others, low-grade anxiety prevents them from engaging in any real conversations, whether with a friend, doctor or worse, even their partners about their fears and the obstacles they face in growing up sexually. Often, even the more progressive will turn their sexual concerns into a joke, laughing at their discomfort and communicating either that sexual concerns are not to be taken seriously or at least not to be discussed seriously.

What we suppress becomes more powerful. Suppressing our sexual nature only grows our obsession with it. Yet, most of this obsession plays out in uninformed and extreme displays that only distances us from our core sexual nature that is waiting to unfold. We legitimate our unwillingness or inability to have honest and authentic conversations about our own sexuality with erroneous beliefs about privacy. Sexual education does not erase privacy, it enhances it. Asking honest questions about our sexual selves and being able to get reliable information allows us to use sexual privacy in healthy ways. Studies show that the kids who are given the most sexual education are the last ones to engage sexually. They don’t need to learn about it by doing it, their learning allows them to make healthy choices about what and when and with whom they want to do it.

Likewise, adults who move beyond their adolescent sexual anxiety through education gain not only the courage to take ownership for their erotic preferences but also the skills to engage in sexual behavior that is consistently pleasurable. Sexually mature adults are not waiting for someone else to make them feel sexy or give them permission to explore the range of their sexual function. Taking full responsibility for their own sexual needs allows them to also be truly responsive to the sexual needs of others, which makes them attractive partners that tend to stay partnered. Aspiring to sexual maturity evolves a host of other essential skills for life- sexually mature adults tend to also be emotionally intelligent and capable of dealing with life changes.

Our sexual selves are misperceived as a locked box of bizarre fantasies and out of control impulses toward carnal pleasure. While it is true that a mature sex life employs these tools for pleasure, working at our sexual evolution is more like developing core strength. Because our erotic identity is so central to who we are, people who have come to terms with this essential aspect of their being are happier and more satisfied in every other aspect of their life as well.

There have never been more incredible resources available than there are today to enhance your sexual education. Below is a short list of authors that will take you on a journey into your sexual self:

 

Sheri Winston – Women’s Anatomy Of Arousal

Tammy Nelson – Getting the Sex you Want

Debby Herbenick- Because It Feels Good

Ian Kerner- She Comes First

 

Source:Outgrowing Our Sexual Adolescence

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Positivity Again: Anchoring Gratitude

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

forest2 The first conscious thought I strive to have each day is a grateful one.

Lately I am awake at least a couple of times – in and out of weird, anxious dreams. So it is not unusual that my first thoughts are anxious too.  It is amazing how fast a couple of errant anxious ideas can spiral down into low grade rumination. Reminding myself through mediation to first create a grateful moment changes everything.

Sometimes it is easy just to remember how grateful I am to hear my dog breathing heavily and regular beside my bed.  Or I just lay awake in early dawn listening to the silence and thanking my lucky stars that I could be born to this beautiful peaceful existence.  Many times I turn and see my husbands’ rounded back and the rise and fall of his breath and remember how many mornings I have been blessed to wake up next to him.  I spend the next fifteen minutes recreating a visceral experience of gratitude.  Like floating on the top of a warm tropical ocean.

Some days when yoga feels too hard,  I set my intention on gratitude. Feeling grateful for the hard work, for losing my balance, the wandering mind or the aching hip joints changes the experience of each qualitatively. It is no wonder that gratitude is one of the cornerstones of positivity consciousness  The most fundamental aspect of a grateful heart is not only that it is open and non-judgmental, but it is also creative. Risk taking comes more easily because you know that there is really nothing to lose.

In every situation , even the most challenging, there is an aspect of gratitude if you look for it.

Source:Positivity Again: Anchoring Gratitude

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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The art of non-sexual touch

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE


If you are neanderthal or cro-magnon man reading this, your reaction may be “What? Me must procreate!”

If you are somewhat more enlightened you may be saying, “Yeah right, like there is such a thing.”

And if you’re a female, you may be saying, “It’s about time!”

We are all sexual beings.

It’s part of our design.

Sexuality plays a role in most everything we encounter. Our society has become more and more sexualized. But in a marriage, there’s more to life than sex. Did I really just say that out loud?

A major component of a fulfilling marriage is the connection you sustain with your partner.

However, many times this bid for connection can be met with skepticism. As if there is an ulterior motive with your wanting to touch your spouse.

There may be times where your spouse sees right through your motives. It may also be that your “moves” need a little work.

It’s my belief that most of the communication within marriage happens on a covert level. Speaking up and saying what you really think or want involves too much risk. So we figure out how to get what we want through covert action.

To be fair, both members of the marriage are complicit in this exchange. In order to break this pattern, the truth must come out.

This could be as simple as speaking up when you are interested in going out with your friends for the weekend, or when you want to buy the newest techno gadget, or even when you want to have sex.

An interesting phenomenon occurs in most people when the topic of sex comes up.

Everyone claims they are interested in the act, many claim to really enjoy the act, but most people have a hard time talking about it with their spouse .

In my experience, most men will report that sex is a way to gain closer connection with their wife. While most women would state they want a closer connection to be more interested in sex.

With these differing views of the same thing, something’s bound to give.

Interesting though, both men and women report that they are interested in greater connection with their spouse.

But they are going about it differently.

So what exactly is the benefit of a closer connection in marriage you ask? You tell me.

A marriage that is fully alive experiences better things in life. <==== Tweet that.

Better joy. Better love. Better families. Better children. Better jobs (not necessarily better money, but better fulfillment). Even better sex. While the quantity of sex may not increase, the quality will.

Incorporating more non-sexual touch in marriage will increase the level of connection. Bear in mind, the point of this type of touch is the connection, not the possibility of sex later.

How to increase the non-sexual touch factor.

  1. Hold hands. This may seem grade schoolish but it really is a great way to connect with your spouse. You may already be a hand holder. Most people seem to lose this ability after the relationship has worn down a bit. Next time you are with your spouse watching TV, walking in the park or mall, at a ball game, reach over and grab their hand.
  2. Put your arm around her shoulder. This is actually a very comfortable way to sit together. You can do this smoothly, you know, it starts by stretching your arms out to both sides then one arm just naturally lands around her shoulders. Seriously though, sit next to her and put your arm around her. Tell everyone else she is important to you.
  3. Give massages. The art of the massage often seems to be a prelude to something more or a chore to be avoided at all costs. A relationship can receive a serious kick if you were to give good massages. Shoulders. Feet. Back. Full body. What a great gift to give.
  4. Hug. As simple as it sounds, hugging can be a great tool for connection. Stand on your own two feet and hug your spouse. Hold them in your arms. Feel their presence. Make note of their heartbeat. Notice yours. Connect on a deeper level. Hugging is often done during difficult times in life. It’s expected then. Hug them other times as well.
  5. Pats on the rear. I’ll admit, I’m a rear patter. When my wife walks by, there’s a good chance she’s going to get a pat on the rear. I have no idea when this started. But now my kids have even exhibited signs of following my lead. The other day my oldest walked up and slapped her mom on the rear. While this can be a playful expression of connection, I guess I need to be careful about developing followers. I also need to be careful to not apply too much force.
  6. Hand on their leg. While you are sitting together, a great bid for connection comes from placing your hand on their leg. An obvious word of caution, the further you place your hand up their leg decreases the non-sexual factor of this touch. But if you sit together with your hand on their knee or even mid thigh, it demonstrates an interest in them and their presence.
  7. Eye to eye. Although this is the last one in the list, it’s perhaps the most important. Make a habit of looking your spouse in the eye. Whether you’re talking or just in the same room throughout the day, make a connection with their eyes. Respect them by giving your attention in conversations. Close the laptop, pause the TV, put the paper down and look them in the eye. Let them see your eyes. If you do this several times a day, it will only take a few days until you both will notice a deeper connection with each other.

 

(photo source)

The art of non-sexual touch is written by Corey from: Simple Marriage

———–

A FEW THINGS WE LOVE:

Source:The art of non-sexual touch

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Be a Fan, a Team Player and a Coach to have a Successful Marriage

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

Football Football season is here. Most people I know are overjoyed to let the upcoming games consume them. I have some serious pigskin fans in my family. Compared to those fanatics, my spouse and I are the weird ones. We don’t actually follow any particular team or sport. In fact, it’s one of the things that attracted me to my husband – that I wouldn’t be forced to watch the big screens or attend tail-gating parties when deep down, that just isn’t my passion.

However, that being said, I do admire the enthusiasm that goes behind football fandom. In fact, I think the principles can be applied toward a healthy, successful marriage. After all, spouses should be a fan for each other, be a team player and also be a coach when the time calls for it.  These roles don’t typically occur all at the same time but they are an important part of a marital union.

Here are a few ways that the “football religion” may help your relationship.

Even non-traditional, non-game participants, like my husband and me, can apply these lessons:

Be a Fan
Remember how you felt when you first met your spouse? Think of the appealing traits of your partner. What attracted you to him or her? You probably had some infatuation with that person. Perhaps you even felt giddy, happy and really excited to be around your other half. To put it in game terms, you were a fan. You liked him (or her). You couldn’t wait to see him. You planned your day or weekend around the opportunity to interact with that interesting someone. Over time, busy schedules and children may get in the way of being a devotee of your spouse. But don’t let too much time go by before you become a “fan” once again. Use the excitement of the game, the love game that is, to fuel up your passion again and be the president of your spouse’s fan club.

Be a Team Player
That expression, “There is no ‘I’ in team” is definitely true for a successful marriage. Two sets of minds and hearts are much more powerful than one. Partners must work together to be victorious. To run a smooth household, I definitely have to collaborate with my husband. We have so much going on with jobs, school, two children, pets and more. Together we pool our energy, skills and resources to make things happen. By working collectively, it lessens the length of time to complete a task. Plus, we usually have a lot more fun picking up the dishes when we do it side by side. My husband will splash water in my face and poke fun at the way I stack plates. I will find the missing plastic ware tops to complete his lunch. When we act as a team, we increase our chances of having quality time and fun while reaching our family goals.

Be a Coach
During different periods in marriage, one partner may need to act as a “coach” for the other person. When I become down on myself, for whatever reason, my husband encourages me. He will find a way to give me a pep talk or encourage me to take action.   Being a great coach requires patience and persistence. You must often push the other person out of the comfort zone. I may want to snooze that alarm clock instead of waking up to complete my fitness routine. My spouse will say, “Get up and do it!” That push can be hard but it’s also exactly what I need from him and for myself.   He will wake up with me, serving as a role model and example. Or if my partner is having a stressful day, I will offer extra attention and support. I listen while he speaks. Sometimes one of us will pick up the slack for the other, if needed. Watching your husband or wife succeed can be such an amazing feeling. As the coach, you can make that happen by assisting him or her to grow, mature and develop.

Think about your favorite sport and team. What do you love about it? Consider the fans just like yourself.   Believe in the team and the efforts they put forth to win.   Admire the coach and the leadership he or she provides.   Apply these football (or other sport) values in your own marriage and other relationships.  Be a fan of your spouse.  Join your spouse’s team.  Act as the coach when needed.  Remember that it is great to have a goal in mind but don’t keep score in your marriage. Instead work toward happy, healthy achievements.

Be a Fan, a Team Player and a Coach to have a Successful Marriage is written by Mandy from: Simple Marriage

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A FEW THINGS WE LOVE:

Source:Be a Fan, a Team Player and a Coach to have a Successful Marriage

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Celebrating Sexual Wellbeing

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

indianwomenresized After people are clothed and fed, then they think about sex.  -Confucius 479 BC

 

What does sexual wellbeing mean to you? This is the question that the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) selected for its focus on the 2nd annual World Sexual Health Day this week on September 4th.  More than 30 countries took part by creating events to recognize the need to articulate and understand the concept of sexual rights for all. This is no small thing, given that in most countries, the science of sexology does not exist and that, with the exception of a few Western nations, there is no collection or depository of sexual health data. Globally, we have not been willing or able to create a standardized terminology for the varied practices of sex. Unlike most other human-related scientific disciplines, our conception and understanding of our sexuality and related erotic selves remains in its infancy. When it comes to sexual behaviors, there is no collective data on legislation or its enforcement, the economic ramifications of sexual practices or even a shared global criteria for sexual counseling. It is truly something to celebrate that we have arrived at the 2nd anniversary of this day dedicated to raising global consciousness and I was proud to be included as a primary sponsor for the North American event in New York City.

There may not be a more important question for each of us to ask ourselves individually than this reflection of what makes us sexually well. Many of us would readily admit to sharing in the symptomology of sexual dysfunction at some point in our adult life. Sadly, quite a few of us guard our sexual pain and inability to find pleasure from even our intimate friends. The gaps in our sexual education are too often replaced by a shame that doesn’t really belong to us, but seems to stick anyway. We often lack the courage and language to heal our deepest erotic wounds. Unsurprisingly, on a national and global scale, most sexual research is fertility-related or focused on the transmission of diseases. Almost unheard of is research of what makes sex pleasurable, the development of sexual orientation, or the prevalence of anxiety and fear, which impacts sexual performance. The collective silence around the deeper personal issues of our sexual selves is deafening. Sex is impossible to discuss or study because we have not even been able to develop a set of standardized terms for a wide range of sexual activity and even what constitutes sex itself.

Sexual education remains a crime in many nations today and, even in the most advanced Western countries, the misconception that sex education promotes promiscuity persists. In fact, the opposite is true- the more education that people have about their sexuality, the later they engage in it and the more satisfied they are with their sexual choices. Yet, instead of meaningful conversations, what is perpetually passed down in families and in the public education’s Abstinence-Only directives is shame and anxiety about one of our most basic human instincts. It is still common in many countries for women to be stoned to death for being caught in a forbidden kiss. And yet, these same young girls are routinely handed over as child brides, despite laws that set limits on the minimum age of marriage. Sexual violence and harassment impact huge swaths of women globally; it is spurred by easy access to Internet pornography, much of it violent. Meanwhile, there are countries full of girls and women being sold and purchased every day for sexual trafficking. For many poor countries, sex trafficking is lucrative… The sale and enslavement of young girls is a leading GDP earner.

My question is this- how come we are only celebrating World Sexual Health Day once a year? We have a lot of catching up to do if we expect that we may ever be capable of fulfilling the long list of sexual freedoms and rights proclaimed in the United Nations recent Declaration of Sexual Rights. Imagine how well the world would be if we could finally get over our terror of what it means to be sexual human beings and create some global parameters, which would encourage us all to discover and enjoy respectful, healing sexual encounters with partners of our own choosing. Personally, I am convinced that this one change alone would be enough to stop the wars and terrorism, and even hunger. If we could go back to the garden and revel in our God-given capacity for sensuous pleasure, something deep in our psyche would heal. So I say, let’s keep the party going- Let’s make every day World Sexual Health Day. We have a lot of catching up to do.

 

Source:Celebrating Sexual Wellbeing

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The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have

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reflect Do a Google search of the word relationships and you’ll find about 178,000,000 articles, links and sites on the topic.

Interestingly though, you won’t find many links and articles on the most important relationship you’ll ever have – the one you have with yourself.

The relationship you have with yourself has a tremendous impact on your life.

Your self esteem, personal outlook, drive, and even mental health is largely shaped by this relationship.

Why is this the most important relationship you’ll ever have?

Your external world tends to be a reflection of your internal world.

So this relationship will ultimately determine how people see you. If you see yourself as below average, unsuccessful, or a failure, then you’ll exuded these qualities in your energy, and people in your life will see you exactly the same way, plus you’ll tend to attract circumstances and events to support this self image.

The same is also a true for a positive self image. Without a healthy self image, your personal development efforts will not be nearly as successful.

The parallel to our external relationships is equally important. More important than how you relate others is how you relate to yourself.

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Yourself

A negative self image can result from a number of different things in life.

What caused the failure is not as important as focusing on how you respond to it. Think of this way. Where you came from isn’t nearly as important as where you are going. Or, what happened is not as important as how you responded to the incident. There are several different ways to begin repairing a negative relationship with yourself.

1. Self Talk

Self talk, or mental affirmations are perhaps the most commonly used tool to make changes in life. It’s been said that if you lie to yourself enough, eventually you will start to believe that lie. The reverse is also true. The beauty of the human brain is that it will go where it is told to go.

Try this: rather than reacting to the fear surrounding an anxious event in life, repeatedly tell yourself that you can handle whatever may happen during the event. Your self talk can dramatically increase your mood, resolve, drive, and even ability to perform in life’s situations.

2. Visualization

This technique is used by a wide range of people, from athletes to professional speakers, to enhance their performance. One of the beautiful things about our brain is that is can not distinguish between experiences that are vividly imagined, and those that actually happened. Have you ever had a dream and a few days later you couldn’t figure out whether or not it was something that actually happened? This is exactly what is happening in the visualization process.

Taking conscious control of the mental pictures you are making in your head gives you power over the results that occur in your life. The key to using visualization successfully is repetition (just like self talk). By visualizing a new, empowering self on a daily basis, your mind will eventually accept it as reality, and the external world you see will follow.

3. Mind Movies

Given the rapid pace at which new technology has developed, people are finding many innovative ways to take combine visualization and affirmations. Mind movies are an excellent technique for doing that. The concept of a mind movie is very simple. First you develop a list of affirmations for all the things that you want in your life. Then, find pictures to match all of the affirmations you have written down. Combine the pictures and affirmations with some upbeat music and you have a mind movie.

What’s great about this technique is it eases the burden of trying to picture something in your head since you have a picture right in front of you and the affirmation to go with it.

4. Meditation and prayer

Slowing the mind and the body down to the natural rhythms of life will boost your mood and self image. It’s almost impossible to be in a state of calm and peace without a solid self image.

One of the best ways to obtain this state of being is through mediation and/or prayer. Connecting to a higher source and recognizing the interconnectedness of the world provides a great perspective for life. It helps to know you are connected to the things around you, as well as know you are a part of God’s creation.

(photo source)
Adapted from Dumb Little Man

The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have is written by Corey from: Simple Marriage

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Source:The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have

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