Why Men Pull Away – Top 3 Secrets They Won’t Tell You

Dianne, a friend since high school, was distraught. She bugs me:  why men pull away, even when they say they love her?

 [Learn Why Men Pull Away CLICK HERE ] 

And why men pull away from the relationship after intimacy?

why men pull away- why are they not talking

Why can’t they just talk? Or, simply hold hands?

I gave her a quick, short  answer.

“I got to this site wherein a ‘bad boy’ by the name of  TDubb explained in video how a woman can capture or recapture the man of his dreams, how to keep him committed, and even marry her without resorting to gimmicks or threats.”

So, my short answer to her why men pull away when in love,  was to check out   TDubb’s Girl Gets Ring Video presentation, CLICK HERE  and find out how.

Dianne’s Background

Dianne had two previous relationships which didn’t work out well. Her first was with Bobby. They had one year of passionate relationship. She described it as hot, and cold,  ”tumultuous”,was another descriptor she said.

When Bobby pulled away , Michael came. This time, she learned enough from her previous relationship.  But it didn’t last. They lasted three years, though.

Now, she’s with  Harry, for two years now. But, it appears they are heading in the same direction.

She can’t understand why Harry says he loves her, yet won’t commit to her, or propose to marry her despite the “all” that she has given to him.

Now, at 32, and her biological clock ticking away, she’s frustrated. She even began to have doubts about her self worth. And she’s desperately groping for answers … how she can keep her man.

Video – When men pull away or lose interest …

Six months later, she sent me this video. She appears very happy and fulfilled.

She finally met the man who’d die to be by her side. How did she do it?

Let her do the talking. So short, and sweet!

What was the “top secret” she found out?

My long answer why men pull away …

I started with a contentious bombshell.

In about 80% of the time, how a man loves you has nothing to do with with his willinness to commit to you, or marry you.

Did I hear howls of protests?

Many will agree or disagree with this statement.

Most men will agree, most women won’t.

See, the gender factor alone, tells a lot about how men and women think differently.

Over a cup of Starbucks, I explained to her three secrets men keep close to their hearts.  The funny thing is, most of them are not even aware of this.

Secret #1 – Men process their feelings in their guts, women, in their hearts.

Understanding this is crucial.

A simple solution is to always is to always keep the communication lines open.

Dianne protested.

“But what if he is the one who shuts the line off?”

I answered her with a question.

“Do you think that if he reacts that way, you can keep on keeping up with him?”

Then, I followed it up with this thought.

Men, typically won’t speak up unless they think of you as a confidante who can keep secrets, and not someone who will use the same knowledge to hurt them.

So, another thing to ponder is: how do you become a confidante to him? And in the process, how does he become a confidante to you?

Men have a mission in Life …

This is a very important concept. If there’s only one thins that you must remember, this is it.

Secret #2 – Men have this “mission in life” to fulfill”.

Most men are not conscious about this, but deep in their guts … they want to prove something to themselves. TDubb calls this the “hero avatar”.

This is probably, the primary reason why men won’t move up to next level of commitment.

Even if he’s had “everything” with you, if his gut tells him that you will make his load heavier on his journey to complete his “mission”, he will dilly-dally, or keep on vacillating.

So unless that he sees you and feels deep inside him, that you are THE ONE  who would lighten up his load and help him reach his “mission” in life … chances are that  he’d still pull away.

The Real Him

Secret #3 – Men are really soft inside, and they too, want to be loved for the “real him”, warts and all.

This is tricky.

At the start of any relationship, when men start to strut around you – they will usually put their best “mask” forward.

Men may buy you expensive gifts, and invite you to expensive dinners.  Men will want to impress you to get your attention.

But, if you already have given him your attention, and reciprocated your interest in him, he will then start to think about showing or revealing the real him for you.

The problem is, he may not yet be comfortable about this.

If he feels safe and trusts you enough, he will. If not, he will continue to wear his mask.

This question bugs him: What if you reject him?

So, if you keep on expecting that you go to fancy restaurants, be given fancy gifts, and fancy everything … he may start to think that you fancy him only because of the fancy things he can give.

This is a “yellow” light that may lead to a “red” light.

What to do?

When you eat out, offer to pay the bill. He will refuse this 95% of the time.

But, if you insist, and even “intercept” the bill … you send him a different signal that it’s not the “fancy” things that you like in him.

An easier thing to do is encourage him to take you to the less expensive restaurants in the likes of McDonald’s, Taco Bell, or Carl’s Jr. Or, suggest gifts that are meaningful yet not expensive.

Or time alone, when you can be intimate without necessary being physical.

It is  important that you  make him feel that it is “him”, that you really fancy. And not the fancy things that he gives you, which seldom lasts anyway.

This way, you are telling him that you like the “real him”.

Secret #4 – How not to make your man pull away …

Finally, I told her that there is a fourth one.

“A fourth one?”

Yes I said. Not only 4, but more!

You see, men, are like women. They are a complex creature.

“If you are really interested”, I said, “to understand men, and get the man you’d like to live with, and be married with in bliss till death do you apart”, I continued, “then, do your future family a favor.”

“What is it?”, she looked at me in anticipation.

Go to this free presentation by TDubb, and get his “Girl Gets Ring” system, Click Here.

If for whatever reason, you think that it is not helpful … you can easily return it, “ala-Amazon”.

Summary- Top 3 Secrets Why Men Pull Away

1.  Men want to be able to open up their deepest and most sacred thoughts to their girls “chaff and grain” together without getting “busted”.

2. Men have a “mission in life”. It’s up to you to make him feel that you can make his journey lighter. Or, heavier.

3. Men want to be loved and appreciated for the real him, and not the “mask” or front, that they wear.

When  Men Pull Away – Action You Can Take Now

Go to this free video training  training   and learn how capture your dream man, and make him feel glad, proud, and loved, you did. This  video could be taken down without notice.

Learn Why Men Pull Away
CLICK HERE 

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Why Men Cheat – 5 Top Causes

Infidelity is a major cause of breakups. The question why men cheat has been asked a million times by a million women, and answers and solutions have been prof erred.

[Beat Them Men Cheaters Up! Learn How - CLICK HERE]

Yet the phenomenon persists. Men still cheat. And, women do, too!

Nea Joy presents her analysis why men cheat, and presents her solutions how to keep them from turning left.

5 Reasons Why Men Cheat and How to Keep Your Man Faithful

Author: Nea Joy

In marriages and committed relationships, most of us expect the obvious: commitment. Unfortunately, even after vowing to forsake all others, many people cheat. Countless studies and real life experiences tell us that men are more likely to cheat than women. That’s no big secret! However, the reasons why men cheat remain a mystery to most of us.

Well, there’s some good news: There are some things you can do to help keep your man from cheating on you. The key is to understand the answer to the question, “Why do men cheat?”

Before you read this list of reasons why men cheat, let’s make one thing clear. If your man cheats on you, it is not your fault. It is ultimately his responsibility to keep “it” in his pants. These tips on how to keep your man from cheating on you can simply help you to help him do what he should do anyway.

With that disclaimer out of the way, lets move on to look at some of the reasons why men cheat.

Reasons Why Men Cheat

1. Immaturity

For the immature man, cheating is often the result of a lack of self control and a sense of entitlement. He may feel that he deserves multiple women, thus he doesn’t even try to be a loyal husband or boyfriend.

Such a man may cheat on his wife or girlfriend no matter what she says or does. He is too immature and irresponsible to understand (or even care) about the damaging effects of his infidelity. He’s also not man enough to admit his unwillingness to commit, thus you’ll have to catch him red-handed. The only tip for a woman who’s dating Mr. Immature is to “kick him to the curve.” This guy is an STD-risk and a threat to your emotional well-being. Don’t waste your time.

2. Feelings of Inadequacy

Another of the reasons men cheat because they feel insecure or somehow inadequate. Although they may not tell you that they need to hear words of validation, many men secretly yearn for it. A guy who is usually faithful may be tempted to cheat on you if he’s feeling inadequate. A bit of flattering attention from another woman may stroke his ego in a way that he finds simply irresistible. Don’t leave this hole in your relationship.

If your man seems macho, confident, or even cocky, it’s still a good idea to let him know what you love about him. Don’t wait on another woman to come along and tell him the all the things he’s dying to hear. If you like the way he looks or smells, tell him. If he’s a good provider and protector, tell him.

For some men, the feelings of inadequacy are so out of control that no amount of ego stroking will keep him from cheating on you. This type of man uses multiple women to distract him from his extreme insecurities. It’s important for you to remember that you can only do so much. If you do your best to show him that you admire and appreciate him, the rest is up to him.

3. The Challenge

Many men love a challenge-a bit of a chase. When a woman seems unattainable, she is interesting. When she is not giving in to him, making him work for her affections, she captivates him. Men who love a challenge will get bored quickly with an easy, spineless woman.

If you’re a “Yes girl” once you’re in a committed relationship, this may be a recipe for infidelity. By not giving in to his every whim, you can keep a man interested and prevent him from cheating. Make sure he knows that, although you love him, you will not be walked on. Let him know that he will always have to be diligent in order to keep you. A strong, confident woman is very interesting and attractive to most men. Be that woman so he doesn’t cheat on you in order to find her.

4. Sexual Frustration

Most women assume that the reason men cheat is just for the sex. That’s usually not the whole story, but sexual frustration can be a factor. As time passes in relationships, the quantity (or quality) of sex may change. He wants sex-you have a headache. He wants sex-you’re too tired. He wants sex-you unenthusiastically give in. He wants oral sex-you’re not into that.

Men naturally think about sex more than most women and suppressing their desires is extremely difficult. Blame the testosterone for that. If you don’t want your husband or boyfriend to feed his sexual urges with other women, reduce the chances of this happening by keeping him satisfied. Have your hormones checked if your libido is extremely low. Don’t just dismiss the notion that a healthy sex life is important to prevent infidelity.

When it comes to sex in relationships, it’s not all about how often you do it. Even if you have sex everyday, sexual frustration can arise when you and your man aren’t interested in the same types of sexual acts.

It’s best to find out early on what a man likes sexually; therefore, you can pass on the relationship opportunity if you are not sexually compatible. If you’re sexually conservative, don’t bother getting involved with a man who loves anal sex, role play, BDSM, or other non-traditional forms of pleasure. Choose a man whose needs you are willing to satisfy-and do it. If you wait until post-commitment to tell him that you’re not open to his favorite sexual acts, he’ll become so sexually frustrated that it will be hard to keep him from cheating on you.

5. Escape from Reality

Passion, fire, and excitement abound in new relationships. Unfortunately, a lot of this dwindles away after getting married, having kids, or remaining in a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, one of the reasons men cheat is that those magical sparks stop flying. This is especially common when couples begin to have kids. Instead of long vacations, nights on the town, and frequent sex, life becomes all about dirty diapers, temper tantrums and extra stress. This is a bad time to add the trauma of infidelity to the problems in a relationship, but some men seek to escape the reality of their changing lives.

To keep your man faithful as life changes so drastically, keep the communication channels open. Discuss the changes that you’re facing and how you both plan to deal with them. Furthermore, do not let life become completely about work, kids, and household chores. Your marriage or relationship should also be a top priority and it is important that you make it so. Schedule date nights, talk openly and continually relight the flame between you two. No matter how you choose to do it, remember to show the man you love that your life with him is an equally important part of your reality.

In addition to cheating, there are many reasons that relationships fail. You can’t possibly get all the answers from one article. I hope you’ll check out RelationshipSaga.com for more information on how to fix your relationship problems before it’s too late.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/5-reasons-why-men-cheat-and-how-to-keep-your-man-faithful-3611768.html

About the Author

Nea Joy is the founder of Law of Attraction based self-help blog, Self Improvement Saga, and the relationship advice website, Relationship Saga.  She specializes in teaching the art of joyful living through personal growth, healthy relationships, and deliberate use of the Universal Law of Attraction. Enhance your life today by visiting http://self-improvement-saga.com for free articles, tips, newsletters, and much more.

Ms. Joy cites being a strong women as a factor that keeps him in “check”. She also dismisses immature and irresponsible men.  When it comes sex, she insists on compatibility and respect. When it comes to “spark”, she insists on excitement and communication as a cementing factor.

Her views on sex may not suit well people who live in societies which are as not open as the western culture. Whatever someone’s views are — sex happens. Just look at the internet.

To cite just one factor on how to keep your man faithful and prevent him from cheating — it is in the women’s strength, and how she shows it, and asserts it.

So cheating men, beware of the strong woman! (She’ll beat you up! :) )

Why Men Cheat- Here’s  What You Can Do and Be NOT a Victim

You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man not to even think about cheating, and  commit to you willingly, gladly, and even marry you!

Beat Them Men Cheaters Up! Learn How
CLICK HERE

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Guy Pulls Away – Why oh why!
Why Men Pull Away, Top 3 Secrets
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Why Men Cheat – 5 Top Causes

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Guy Pulls Away – Why oh why!

When a guy pulls away, would you know why?

Probably not. You may have speculations, but unless you talk to him and he becomes truthful, I doubt.

[ When Guys Pull Away, Follow This Formula - CLICK HERE ] 

So, the best cure is always prevention.

Kathy on this article reveals 3 things that she thinks she did that made his guy pull away the last time.

Why a Guy Pulls Away – 3 Things You Must Do to Keep Him From Pulling Away - by Kathy

So you found the guy of your dreams and you’ve been in a relationship with him for quite awhile. You know he loves you and you’re ready to get married. He hasn’t popped the question yet and you feel as if he never will.

Using threats out of desperation is like committing relationship suicide. Women that continue to use threats must believe there’s a good reason, (especially if they’ve been in a long relationship) but then they wonder why a guy pulls away.

They want marriage so badly, that making threats is a common issue. Women who force demands on their guy don’t realize the pressure they are putting him under, so therefore he terminates the relationship. By giving your guy a now-or-never ultimatum will cause him to pack his bags and run. There are 3 things you must do to keep him from pulling away.

1-Don’t be over-bearing- Men think they are the stronger of the sex. They don’t want to be told what to do. They express their feeling in a different way than women. They want to make their own decisions in their own time without someone pushing them. Be patient and caring. If they sense you are trying to push them and are over-bearing, they will hold back their true feelings.

They love their gal, but they can only take so much before they pull out. You need to understand his feelings and concerns which will bring him closer to you. By giving him some slack will make him more comfortable with you. Deep down inside, he wants you for his wife, but he is testing the waters because he knows a commitment is for life.

2-Show him the real you- Some women think by pretending to be what they’re not, will impress a guy. It’s quite the opposite. Men love a woman who is real and natural and doesn’t pretend or lie. If he catches you in a lie, he will never trust you. Love and marriage are based on trust. So be yourself and be totally honest with him. He will love you for it.

Women in a relationship get caught with their pretenses and their guy can sense that. If that happens, he will pull away. Remember, he is looking for marriage material, but he isn’t going to tell you that.

Although he is watching your actions and desires, he isn’t aware of it. He puts up his guard and it’s up to you to tear it down. Stay sharp and focused on his actions and don’t give him a reason to doubt your love or trust.

3-Your First Impression- Your first impression is on your first date and that’s when the seed starts to grow. Guys love to impress a new girlfriend making them think he is financially successful. He wants her to like him and he knows money is the way to steal her heart. The problem is that after awhile he gets caught up in his own game.

Women let their guy buy them expensive gifts, go to fancy restaurants and will accept what their boyfriend offers. Now he feels trapped and is to proud to tell her he can’t keep spending all this money. When he feels trapped, he will walk away. Most women don’t realize what they’re doing, so they wonder why their guy pulled away.

If he starts buying you expensive gifts, don’t accept them. After a couple times of taking you to a fancy restaurant, you pick a cheap restaurant. If you truly love him, you won’t care where he takes you. Offer to fix dinner at your house or apartment (or his). That way he can see how good of a cook you are as a future wife. He may very well have lots of money, but act as though he doesn’t. If he thinks you want him for his money and not for him, he will know it and leave the relationship.

You must follow these 3 tips to keep him from pulling away. Be patient and let his love grow for you. If you do, he will eventually ask you to marry him. Don’t be like so many women that wonder why a guy pulls away . You have a wonderful life ahead of you with the guy of your dreams. Just follow your heart and heed the advice in this article.

About the Author

I was in a relationship where my guy eventually pulled away. I was over-bearing, making threats and giving him ultimatums and then he pulled away. I was really hurt. I realized after I lost him what I had done.

Then I found this guy who has been a relationship specialist for 16 years. He has a training video and tons of advice that got me on the right track. So when I finally met the guy of my dreams, I followed the advice from T’Dub’s video and training. My my guy did commit and we are now happily married.

Go to: www.KeepaGuy.info and watch T’Dub’s video and see how to get your guy to pop the question without using threats or ultimatums.

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When A Guy Pulls Away – here’s what you can do to prevent it

Kathy followed the teachings of this guy on the video behind the “click”. Find out to how to keep your from guy pulling away.

Learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man commit to you willingly, gladly, even marry you!

When Guys Pull Away, Follow This Formula – CLICK HERE

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Why Men Pull Away, Top 3 Secrets

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What Do Men Want In Relationships

Do men want in relationships, always sex?

[Find Out What Men Want In Relationships CLICK HERE]

As a man myself,  my answer is Yes…

BUT … Not only that. :)

Here’s a very enlightening article that gives women great clues that men not only want sex in relationships, but a lot,lot more.

What Do Men Want in Relationships?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=A_Aaron]A Aaron

Have you ever wondered why men seem to want you one day, then wants more “space” the next? Ever wondered why most men find it hard to commit? These and many other questions plaque the minds of many women today – just what do men want in relationships?

The surprising thing is that what men want in relationships are pretty much the same things that women want. Here are some of the things men want, and why:

#1 – Men want freedom.

When a man first enters the dating game, he’s in it for the fun. He’s out to meet new women and make new friends, and finding someone to marry is probably the last thing on his mind. He’s enjoying his life to the hilt, and still loves many aspects of his single life — his hobbies, his friends, his career.

A stigma of relationships today is the idea that once you get into a relationship, you lose your freedom to do the things you used to enjoy. This is precisely why many men are uncomfortable being in a relationship and living under its “rules.” But what most people don’t realize is that it’s still possible to enjoy your freedom while sharing it with someone you love.

So the best tip you can remember to ensure his freedom is this: Don’t be too clingy. As the popular song goes, “Everybody needs a little time away from each other.” Let him enjoy his time, and do the same every now and then.

#2 – Men want enjoyment.

The reason why most men space out of their relationships is because they simply don’t find it fun anymore. This could either be because their girlfriends try to ask for too much attention, or talk about too many problems, or simply aren’t any fun to be with. Do you like the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone so negative? Exactly.

To make the relationship a happier place for him (and you), learn to be in total control of your emotions, instead of being a slave to them. This doesn’t mean you’ll need to filter out all the negative emotions, but instead of letting them rule you, acknowledge them and move on. And always try to bring positive, enjoyable things to the table in the relationship.

#3 – Men want independent women.

Let’s face it — too many women today think of themselves too much. They depend on their friends, their money, and their boyfriends to stay happy. But you’ll be surprised at how being able to stand on your own two feet is a very irresistible quality to have. Men love being with independent women, simply because independent women are a rarity these days.

It may sound hard, but it’s always possible to tweak your personality to be more free, more enjoyable, and more independent. It’s all a man wants in a relationship!

Find out the [http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com/the-ten-most-dangerous-mistakes-you-probably-make-with-men-and-what-to-do-about-it]ten most dangerous mistakes you probably make with men – and what you can do about it.

Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Do-Men-Want-in-Relationships?&id=2563130] What Do Men Want in Relationships?

Of the 3 things Aaron cited, I cite independent women as the most attractive. Men face it. We want a strong woman. A woman who can carry the cudgels when we cannot.

If you are reading this and only need to remember one thing, this is it:  strength.

That’s one trait men want in relationships. (Other than sex? :) )

What men want in relationships – here’s what you can do.

You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that generally teaches what your man want in your relationship.

Find Out What Men Want In Relationships
CLICK HERE

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When Men Withdraw – So Be It?

Is it just right when men withdraw, and we let them be?

[When Men Withdraw, Know Why CLICK HERE]

It is  a common occurrence in relationships that a man (or a woman) suddenly withdraws, asking for “space”, and you’re left in a shell not understanding what is happening.

In this article, Katherine shares what she does and will do, if her man suddenly pulls away.

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What To Do When Men Withdraw and Suddenly ‘Need Their Space’
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Breanne_Katherine]Breanne Katherine

Has your man suddenly gotten distant and your not sure why or what may have triggered his frustrations?

Has he stopped talking to you quite as often or does it seem as though he lacks interest during the time he has to spend with you?

The reasoning behind why a man might withdraw from a relationship is varied and subject to several cause and effect scenarios.

However, the majority of the time – most men withdraw from relationships either because they are no longer interested, do not feel appreciated, have lost their own self-respect, or a mixture of all the above.

In order to gauge where your man is at and why he is suddenly withdrawing from the relationship, you’ll need to do a little research. Try to understand what is going on in his mind by having a conversation with him and reading his body language.

Do not assume that your relationship is or was solid. Open communication needs to be a must for any relationship to achieve long-term success. Without it, pent-up emotions and feelings will one day release a negative explosion, which isn’t always healthy for either of you.

Be sure that from the very beginning of the relationship, you are both open and honest with each other. Express your feelings, emotions, worries, concerns, fears, ideas, and desires on a consistent basis.

Also make sure that you consider his in return. If you make an attempt to put his priorities in front of your own, you will see a drastic change in his desire to do the same; thus, inevitably getting what you want and deserve from the relationship.

By exuding empathy and support with what he fears and worries over, you will create a trusting bond that allows him to confide in you. By sharing in your understanding together, the two of you will create a long and lasting relationship.

The two of you are a team – by choosing to be in a relationship together, you have ultimately decided that you will share, support, and burden each others wants, fears, and desires as a unit.

You may not agree with some of the choices he makes and vice versa, but as long as they are reasonable and remain faithful, there should be nothing the two of you can’t work through together.

Patience is another major factor in achieving the kind of relationship you have always dreamed about.

No relationship is perfect, they all take practice and consistency.

However with a little time, the two of you will eventually learn how to handle and accomplish hundreds of incredible feats you wouldn’t have had the opportunity of experiencing if either of you were single.

If your man claims that he needs his space, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It could potentially mean just that – that he needs a little space to recuperate and feel like himself before he decides what to do with his love life.

It doesn’t have to mean that he is dumping you and moving right on to the next girl he finds. He is probably simply seeking some alone time to gather his thoughts and figure out what he truly wants.

The best way to handle this kind of situation is to respect it. If you fight and beg for him to change his mind it will only make him resent you, and probably have him leaving for good – don’t do this!

Instead, tell him that you disagree with his choice (if you do) but you are willing to wait for him if he chooses to change his mind. Assure him that you are always available to talk and remind him quickly how much you will always care for him, either way he goes.

Give him something to really ponder over – don’t let his last impression of you to make his choice with, be one of the two of you screaming and arguing with each other.

Make it a memory that he will want to come back to, one that will make him feel ridiculous for ever having to ‘need his space’ to begin with.

How?

Pay Very Close Attention Here -

On The Next Page, You Will Discover Very Rare & Psychological Tricks Which Will Give You The Ultimate Power To Attract any Man, Make Him Fall In Love, & Get Him To Commit To You & Only You, Forever – Click Here! [http://theguymagnet.us]

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-To-Do-When-Men-Withdraw-and-Suddenly-Need-Their-Space&id=6432903] What To Do When Men Withdraw and Suddenly ‘Need Their Space’

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She says that  when men withdraws, it usually is a loss in interest, either in the relationship, or in his ability to sustain a relationship. That communication is a must.

And most importantly,  leave him a loving impression that he is losing a big thing if he does not realize the love and value that you hold for him.

When men withdraw – here’s what you can do.

Become a better person.  You can learn valuable tips and skills in this free video presentation that teaches you how to make your man commit to you willingly, gladly, even marry you!

When Men Withdraw, Know Why
CLICK HERE

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Know the signs when men pull away

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When Men Pull Away, Be Wiser

Know the signs when men pull away

Sometimes, we are not sure when men pull away from us. It’s hard to read minds.

[ When Men Pull Away - Be Wiser, Click Here ] 

However, there are resources we can cite to confirm, or debunk if our man is pulling away from us.

Here is such an article.

When Men Pull Away – Top Three Signs That He Is Pulling Away
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Alyssa_A._H]Alyssa A. H

You are probably reading this article because you get that sneaky feeling that your boyfriend is pulling away from you or being distant.

You are not one hundred per cent sure because let’s face it, you may be over reacting but one thing you do know is that something has changed and you need to get to the bottom of it.

If there is one thing I have learnt is that when you think that something is off, very often you are right!

So let’s go through the top three signs that will clue you in on whether or not your boyfriend is pulling away from you.

1. He spends a lot less time with you now than he did before and he tells you that he is busy as his excuse as to why you two are spending little time together.

So in other words, if you two were seeing each other four or five times a week, you are barely seeing him once or twice now.

When you do see him, the conversation is not as free flowing and it seems as though his mind is elsewhere. His body is there but his mind clearly is not.

In addition, it doesn’t seem like it is even that big of a deal that you two aren’t seeing each other as often. He just does not seem to care.

What the heck? Doesn’t he miss you at all? This is definitely a sign to monitor.

2. He doesn’t call you as often as he used to and again it doesn’t seem like he even misses hearing your voice.

When you call him, he is always too busy to have a real meaningful conversation with you and you always feel as though he is leaving you hanging.

If anything, this is one of the most important signs to take note of.

Does it seem as though you have unfinished business with him, like if a door is always being closed in your face without you being able to express yourself or spend time being with him or talking with him?

3. He doesn’t make plans in advance like he did before.

When you two first started seeing each other, he made plans way in advance. This, as you know, is one of the signs that a guy is interested in you and wants to impress you with all of the fancy places he can take you. He wants to make sure that you two do exciting things together.

So when he starts to get downright lazy and nonchalant about what you two are doing and when, that is a clear sign that he is taking a big step back from the relationship and his commitment to you!

These are three of the main signs that your boyfriend is pulling back from you. Even one of these in isolation signals that there may be a problem in your relationship that needs a speedy solution of some type. For more signs that your guy may be pulling away from you, click on the link below to visit my blog!

Find out why a guy will pull away from the woman he loves if he is not ready to get married here at http://www.committedrelationship.blogspot.com Why is your man pulling away from you?

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?When-Men-Pull-Away---Top-Three-Signs-That-He-Is-Pulling-Away&id=7091216] When Men Pull Away – Top Three Signs That He Is Pulling Away

In summary,  Alyssa is telling us that if he spends less time, calls less, and plans less than before, he may be starting to pull away .

Heck, why don’t you confront him and hear it from?

When Men Pull Away – What You Can Do

Learn the ways of the man. Man is a complex being.  I suggest you hear this free training video on how you make your man commit to you gladly, willingly, even marry you!

When Men Pull Away – Be Wiser, Click Here

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Positivity Quest: Affirmation 3

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

butterfly “If you wish for light, be ready to receive light.”  -Rumi

 

Years ago, when I had just begun this journey of creating the life I had longed for, a teacher gave me this affirmation, which I have been holding ever since-  “I am a joyful, grateful, excellent receiver.” At the beginning, I remember how awkward the words felt in my throat, how foreign the idea of being an active receiver was to me.  Since then, I have come to treasure this thought and, thankfully, even in times of deep stress, this has become a default space in my heart.

When you get good at receiving, it alters your capacity to give.  All of the quotes that generally talk about how it is in giving that we receive can only become true to the extent that you have a capacity to receive. Otherwise, giving inadvertently becomes a strain,  a way to feel a part of the exchange of love moving through you, but it never really settles in you. Giving without receiving leaves us feeling empty. I gave like this for years…  Sadly, I raised my kids on this kind of giving. Ultimately, it often lead me down a path of feeling used up and unappreciated. It wasn’t until I focused on my own capacity to receive that the love I gave began to fill me up as well.

I recently read that joy is the essence of success. I think it is also a good barometer in measuring our capacity for both giving and receiving. Learning how to let things come to you with a joyful and expectant heart happens when you feel deserving and worthy. Likewise, feeling worthy and deserving creates more joyful exchanges of giving and receiving. Figuring out how to break into this cycle is a trick when you have not practiced it before.

For what its worth, where I broke into this joyful circuit was by practicing gratitude at every chance I could. Even for the smallest of things, a fresh hot cup of tea, the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day, a brief text from one of my kids wondering when I would get there, even too much work… Each time I said thank you out loud for this moment, this chance to receive the beauty and goodness around me,  I learned a little bit more about what it felt like to be a joyful receiver.

It’s not like you are ever done with this practice. I still say it all the time, especially when things seem like they are not working, because it primes my brain and my soul to look for what is working- which is always the best place to begin. Most excellent of all is that now my acts of giving love, actually feel like receiving. I feel so grateful, joyful and blessed to be in the exchange on both sides.

 

Try this one on- it’s a  keeper…. Repeat after me  “ I am a joyful, grateful, excellent receiver.”

Source:Positivity Quest: Affirmation 3

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Positivity Quest – Affirmation 2: I Trust Myself and What I Know

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

loveiseverythingresized “Self trust is the first secret of success.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Trusting what you know is the bedrock of befriending yourself.  Choosing the beliefs that ground you to your life is everything. Today, on my 53rd birthday, as I consider what I know for sure…

1.     The only thing that counts at the end of our lives is who we love and who has loved us.

2.     Our true friends are rare and precious gems, and when they live in your family – it is a blessing of a double rainbow.

3.     A life built around your true purpose is what makes everything else in life meaningful and rewarding.

4.     It is never too late to heal our inner wounded child.

5.     Joy is the true measure and essence of success. There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.

Figuring out what beliefs provide the ground of your life  will give you confidence to trust yourself.

Source:Positivity Quest – Affirmation 2: I Trust Myself and What I Know

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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How to Date Every Week… Guaranteed!

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

Couple on Date How to date every week guaranteed. Really?

It sounds like something that you would see on a singles dating website or in your spam filter, right?

Not necessarily something that you would see on a website for old married folks like us.

But we all know that dating in marriage is just as important, if not more important, than dating in the single life.

The Challenge with Dating Every Week

The big problem with dating every week is that life gets in the way!

The week starts off with a busy Monday and doesn’t usually let up until sometime towards the end of the week.

Then the weekend hits. If you’re like most people, soccer games, trips to the hardware store, and chores somehow manage to eat up all of your free time.

Not too long ago, I was speaking with a friend of mine about dating. He said that he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone on a date with his wife.

He even said, “Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time we kissed!”

Keep in mind this guy was in his late twenties! He and his wife had only been married for a few years.

It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been married.

The fact remains that going on a date, at least once a week, is a very powerful tool to keeping the marriage alive and active.

How to Make the Date Happen Every Week

If the thought of planning a date every week seems daunting, don’t worry! It’s not as hard as you think.

I once heard a speaker talk about his goal of going on a weeklong vacation once a month. He said his friends and family thought he was crazy.

At the time, he said he also didn’t have enough money to go on a monthly vacation.

But he held to his resolve and improvised along the way.

The time came for the first vacation and instead of flying somewhere like Europe or the Caribbean, he took a road trip with his wife to his sister’s house who lived in the next state over.

They treated it like an all out vacation.
They kept up with the habit of taking mini vacations month after month. Eventually the money caught up and they soon found themselves taking week long vacations to exotic locations around the world.

The point here is to do something and make a habit of it.

Quick Tips for Weekly Dating

If the thought of going out every single week seems overwhelming, don’t worry!

First of all, the date doesn’t have to involve going to the opera every week!

In fact, my wife and I love grabbing some bread, meat, & cheese at the store and cruising to the waterfront. A nice bench and a view of the ocean is all we need for a totally satisfying date!

The date can be as simple or as complex as you want it.

Also, you don’t have to spend a lot of money. Bread and cheese? It only sets us back a few bucks.

With the time and money doubts out of the way, you need to first decide on a set day of the week and stick to it. For example, you know that every Friday night is the official date night.

Picking the day is the first challenge. Just commit and make it happen.

Also, you should spend some time together and come up with some ideas of things you would like to do. This could even be your first date!

Go somewhere cool and make a list. It will come in handy for the followings weeks and months.

When the time comes, go out and enjoy your date. It may have been a long time since you’ve been on one!

After you’ve gone on your first official weekly date, get ready for the second consecutive week. Keep up the momentum right after your first date.

Make Each Other a Priority

The weekly date is an outward commitment of your inner desire to spend time with your loved one.

Think about it – you’re not going to reach the end of your life and regret all that time you spent with your spouse. You just won’t.

In fact, it will most likely be a big bragging point. “We’ve been married 50 years and never missed our weekly date…” something like that!

Go on a date… every week. Your life will be 1000% percent better because of it.

How to Date Every Week… Guaranteed! is written by Sean from: Simple Marriage

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A FEW THINGS WE LOVE:

Source:How to Date Every Week… Guaranteed!

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Positivity Quest- Affirmation #1: I Love Myself

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

balloongirl “All other love is extinguished by self-love; beneficence, humanity, justice, philosophy, sink under it.”  -Epicurus

 

I am not sure why I started with the most difficult of all affirmations to begin my book, and surely I am among many who read the words: “I love myself,” but can’t quite feel them.

I suppose this is my  first affirmation, because in many ways, it is the ground of any and all others. It is a complex act, even though it seems like it should be simple. Our capacity for self love is an accurate barometer of our ability to receive all other love. For affirmations to really work, they have to be experienced from the inside out, which is to say that the recognition of what feels true resonates in our body, specifically around our heart, if the impact is going to be felt.

This idea of self love permeates the literature and culture of our time. You would think for so much repetition and content that it would be easier to manifest.  Even the Buddha, years ago in one of his most profound teachings said,”If you search the world over, you will not find one more worthy of your own love than you, yourself.” I remember the first time I read those words, they hit me with both aspiration and grief- for where I wanted to go and how far I was from it.
Lately, there are moments when I say these words, I love myself and can feel it.  Here I am upon my 53rd birthday and I have finally gotten to a place where what is right with me, at least balances my frailties and weaknesses. I can appreciate my efforts and honor my intentions.  I can hold onto myself when others let go.  I can feel comfort with my own solitude.
Mind you, this is not a 100% reliable experience. It often needs to be supported by other affirmations and some days I can’t really feel it at all. Like meditation and other practices, going through the motions, even when you can’t get the feeling to go with it, counts. Watching yourself lose balance in yoga postures is as much an education as the crystal moments of sticking them.
So, as you begin an affirmation practice, make sure somewhere in your deck is this simple, yet most challenging declaration of self love. It is one of those quests, that the longer you move towards it, the deeper it etches itself in you.

Source:Positivity Quest- Affirmation #1: I Love Myself

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Positivity Quest: 100 Days of Affirmations

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

153544668515142351_3fMV8Jz7_c About a month ago I got an interesting homework assignment from an energetic counselor that I work with. She asked me to make a set of 100 affirmation cards and to not only read them, but actually feel them every day. I had learned before that real change comes from what we fully experience as real. I spent days researching affirmations and then another day choosing and compiling the 100 that resonated most deeply. I glued them into an index card booklet and began the twice daily task of experiencing them each day.

The results have been truly remarkable. Not only are the affirmations becoming the default mechanism that automatically emerge for me under stress, but, as a primary filter for my reality they are shifting everything – from how I perceive to what is actually happening. I have already started to make affirmation books for everyone I love for the holidays and so it occurred to me that this might be a beautiful re-entry to restore me to my daily writing habits, which I miss so much.

Beginning tomorrow – I will share an affirmation and a story about why I chose it each day, which seems the perfect holiday practice and will ring in the New Year in true positivity. Hopefully as we go, this practice will inspire you to create an affirmation book of your own.

Years ago, when I began this Positivity Quest and all of the positivity projects I have created since,  the idea that took root and has been the foundation of it all comes back to the Buddha’s words: “ You are what you think. All that arises comes from your thoughts. With your thoughts you make the world.” Creating and living within your affirmations will shock you with the powerful magic of opening, wonder, possibility and love that is present in you – waiting to be tapped.

Don’t miss a single day,  some of my affirmations, like the first one tomorrow are universal, and even those that aren’t will spark a new thought for you to reinvent your life, or more accurately, tap into the life waiting to awaken inside of you.

Source:Positivity Quest: 100 Days of Affirmations

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Boo the Villians, Cheer the Heroes

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

Most women have a need to verbally decompress their day. Which is a fancy way of saying they need to talk when they come from work, or you come home from work when they’ve been home all day. Women tend to be more emotionally fluid than men, and it can often seem to the guy like he’s been dropped into a verbal puking of half a dozen emotions and disconnected storylines. This is just her  clearing her daily event cache.

There are two mistakes a guy can make here.

The first potential mistake is to simply tune her out and ignore her. It’s low effort, but the cost is that more and more she simply feels like you don’t care about her. Also there’s the obvious risk of along with tuning out the clearing of the cache, you are missing more important communications. This is why you never should make grunting noises of agreement without being consciously aware of what you’re grunting agreement to. Unless you want to risk being forty-five minutes drive away from “the thing” when the thing starts in ten minutes and she’s holding seats for you both.

“Got great seats! See you soon!”

Shit. Soon for what?

The second potential error is too listen too hard, and start engaging your powers of problem solving when she doesn’t actually want to have a problem solved. She’s just clearing her cache and reconnecting with you. If you start trying to problem solve when she isn’t actually looking for it, it tends to both be interpreted as you “not listening” and as somewhat demeaning in that you’re acting like she can’t solve her own problems. It’s frustrating to her because you’re stopping the problem solving she was doing, which was simply clearing her head and feeling connected to you.

The actual solution is to do what I call “Booing the Villians and Cheering the Heroes”. Which is to say you treat it something like watching a TV show with a bag of popcorn, and simply enjoy the show. When good things happen you say “woo-hoo”, when bad things happen you say “that sucks”. Her friend does something good in her story, say “she’s awesome”, and when some bitch does her bitch thing, say “that bitch”.

That’s it. Seriously, that’s about all you have to do. Boo the villians, cheer the heroes.

Caveats…

You don’t have to sit through endless reruns of the same show. If you start hearing the same sad story of her failing or losing or whatever negative again and again, call attention to it as her making some variety of a Display of Low Value.  Then ask if she needs help troubleshooting the issue. You don’t necessarily have to run out and assist with the application of the solution either. If it’s her workplace drama for example, there’s usually zero you can do to help anyway.

Also a very high risk option is to tell her to “stop bothering me with all this and take it to your girlfriends instead”. They don’t always end up talking to their girlfriends… it’s a situation tailor made for a Beta Orbiter to get a leg up on her attention. As soon as she says you told her to get lost unless she wants cock, it’s almost impossible for another guy to screw up the stock-in-trade husband/boyfriend destroying tactical responses. Unless of course her talking to another guy, with him saying you sounded abusive was your intention. In which case, carry on.

And ladies… same thing applies to listening to talk about sports.

His team was sporting very hard, and they sported sportingly. Go sports team of his preference. Go!

 

Source:Boo the Villians, Cheer the Heroes

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Positivity Again: Breaking Up

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

snowgirlresized Last night I got a text from my teenaged daughter’s ex-boyfriend. I like him so much, and am mourning her recent break-up with him. I saw it coming… as the balance of attraction and desire became lopsided, I knew that it was unlikely with their limited capacity to understand and express how things fell out of mutuality, that they would find their way back to each other. Once the scales tip,  small acts perpetuate the dance of pushing forward and pulling back, until no one knows how they got there.

I am having a harder time than she is letting go of him.

This loss is achingly familiar, too. Recently, I have had a couple of old friends end their relationship with me. Valuing relationship history as I do, I never move towards these endings. I know from the relationships that are most valuable to me that it is in moving through and not away from my relationships where I discover the better pieces of myself that are waiting just behind the shadows to emerge.

And yet, witnessing my 16-year-old daughter moving so fluidly in relationships, unencumbered by the needs that followed me from my adolescence,  I realize that I have often been willing to overlook the many ways that the relationships that have ended probably deserved my desertion long ago. Both of these friendships were defined best by the limits and boundaries in which they existed. It was usually me who was reaching out to them and arranging times to be together. Seeing and speaking to them was almost always on their terms. And worse, there was always a hanging back, a shroud of resistance around sharing what was most intimate to them with me.

In hindsight, I realize how I was always trying to do one more thing to keep them connected to me. Watching the dissolution in my daughter’s relationship was the same. He kept trying harder and she kept pulling back.  It is almost a kindness, this kind of break-up, where as she admitted to me that  it allowed her to see how mean she was being, and how glad she was that she could find their old friendship.

Being in relationships with people who don’t truly value and appreciate what you have to give is not a history worth maintaining.   Relationships that always or even, often, make you question your own trustworthiness is a sign worth heeding. I have long argued that we cannot demand the love we want, but only be willing to accept the love that is present. Yet, what I have learned from these break-ups is that no relationship that makes you an untrustworthy friend to yourself  is not the kind of healing, expanding  love that turns us into our best selves.

So I am learning… letting go of love that never was or could be is a step towards positivity.

Source:Positivity Again: Breaking Up

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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Relinquishing Prejudice For Greater Intimacy

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

maphands ”It is never too late to give up our prejudices.” ~Henry David Thoreau

 

We all have them; these silent judgments, which invisibly harden into prejudice and separate us from whoever it is that we deem the “other,” whether based on race, religion or sexual identity. It is the invisible and unacknowledged judgments that maintain the strongest holds on us,  limiting our ability to wonder and to be curious about what we can’t see. What we often miss is that as our openness dwindles, so does our capacity to become intimate. The truth is that there is a part of ourselves that we close off when we reject vast swaths of people around us. Generally our most severe and ardent judgments reflect back on something in us that we can’t quite accept.

Walking through Central Park in NYC this week, I got caught up in a street performance- an original and heartwarming break down dance about race, while the performers jumped over a long line of spectators. What still rings in my head, besides the enormous leap they managed through the air, is when they all rapped together: “The only race is the human race.”  Their gig was endearing because, as they were enlisting volunteers into their show with lines like “We need your help, White Chocolate” and “No show is complete without cute Asian guys who dance,” they were simultaneously enacting and breaking down the racial stereotypes that we accept but rarely acknowledge.  It got me thinking about my own prejudices, as it was one of the most generous and authentic interactions about racial differences I have witnessed in a long time.

Prejudices grow in the confines of our own darkness. Judgment flourishes where it goes unquestioned. What we won’t say out loud, or admit to, even to ourselves constricts our bandwidth of how we relate.  A good example of this is in the context of our sexuality.  Ignorance coupled with insecurity about who we are as sexual human beings is so common that our collective sexual conversation about everything from same sex marriage to sexual education is cloaked with prejudice. Irrational decision-making is often the result, as our deepest fears become hardened in our hearts. As a result, we disguise what we dislike and what scares us, rather than listening for what we refuse to question and reflect upon in ourselves.

What we rarely witness is how our prejudices are often most toxic within our cherished intimate relationships.  We mistakenly, yet persistently believe that we can selectively discriminate, cutting ourselves off from this one, but not that one. We don’t realize how our prejudices create black holes in our hearts, veritable land mines that can be triggered by those we love best almost as easily as by those we hold apart. The energy it takes for our intimate partner to learn to tip toe around what we reject, attempting to not disturb the blocks that define our sense of well being comes at a cost to their attention to loving us.  Our prejudices consume space with the people we love, partly because what is left unspoken takes up increasingly more space,  and partly because where we are closed, no light can come in.

Sometimes intimate partners will choose to adopt our prejudices  as their own to keep the “peace.” But this is a costly peace to sustain because it shrinks the entire relationship, diminishing not only what we can say to each other about the world, but also what we can risk saying to each other about ourselves. Also, giving up our own identity and belief systems is a sure killer to sustaining the passion that makes intimacy real over time.

Thus, often the most unexpected and tragic casualty of a prejudiced heart is how we unknowingly sacrifice the passionate potential of our sex life. Human sexuality does not thrive in the narrow darkness of judgment, playful abandon is impossible under the heavy cloak of ignorance and fear. Orgasm is not even possible in the mental cage of anxiety. If ever there was a reason to re-think your prejudices, it is this- freeing and expanding your mind and heart from erroneous beliefs will also expand your experience of pleasure… Emotional and physical.

Source:Relinquishing Prejudice For Greater Intimacy

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Married Life 911 is now available!

Learn why men pull away, how to decode men, and know 3 secrets they won’t tell you! CLICK HERE

ecg Right now, our newest online relationship course is available, Married Life 911.

I want to personally invite you to take advantage of this course, especially since it’s being offered this time only for $150 (which covers both you and your spouse).

Let’s put this into perspective …

How much you’d spend:

Working with a counselor for a couple of months = $1,200ish
Taking a different marriage course online or DVD = $477
Attending a marriage workshop or retreat = $250

OR you can

Join Married Life 911 = $150 (this time only)
Married Life 911 PLUS three private coaching sessions with me = $430 (this time only)

http://marriedlife911.com

Again … this is the only time this course will be available at this price.

Enrollment ends soon so join within the next several days!

See you inside!

Corey

Married Life 911 is now available! is written by Corey from: Simple Marriage

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A FEW THINGS WE LOVE:

Source:Married Life 911 is now available!

Want to make your man commit willingly, gladly, and not pull away? Go CLICK HERE

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